Love Others Wholeheartedly
Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai
Lecture at the Amara Hotel, Singapore, September 27, 1994
(Originally in English)
Q: Dear Master, I always wonder how to love others wholeheartedly and receive the same treatment.
M: Well, you can love people, but people might not love you. So the best thing is to just love them with no expectations. Then you will not feel hurt. That's difficult in marriage. It's very difficult to love some people that you do not know, so the best is that you love someone that you know wholeheartedly and devotedly as best as you can and sincerely. There's no need to show off too much, but if you love someone, just say so. And show it, because sometimes people think, "Oh, I love him, I love her; I don't have to say it, she will know; he will feel it." Feeling and hearing are different. We have many organs: smelling, seeing, and hearing, and so we love to see and hear as well. Most men do not show emotion and this is why sometimes a marriage doesn't last, does not feel very solid, does not feel very secure; the husband does not show his emotions. It is better that we show each other that we appreciate each other before it's too late.
Love your family members wholeheartedly; sacrifice for them whenever necessary; do everything you can in your power to help them and to let them know that you love them. And to other members of humankind, just show your love universally, and help whoever needs your help. That is the way of love. You don't have to hug everyone on the street, just to show your big love. I don't hug people that easily. Except that I do sometimes to the disciples and when I see poor people, I have to hug them more. I don't know why; something pushes you; something inside just makes you feel you want to do it. And you don't even think; you don't have time to think about it at that moment.
When I see poor people, not only do I feel like giving money, but with their fate, their miserable condition, I don't mind anything - I could kiss them, hug them all day long, no problem. Or prisoners, or sometimes the more dreaded people, I just don't think. I cannot think anymore at that moment. I just feel, "They need something; they need my love." I feel something urging inside that makes me do it spontaneously. And that is the time you should show; at that moment it is really true love. You cannot reason anymore. You cannot tell yourself to stop or you cannot tell yourself to do it. You cannot tell yourself why you want to hug. There is no more reason; no more thinking, you just do it. If such a thing happens, then you know that that is true love; that is spontaneous love. There's nothing to talk about. Otherwise, if we sit here and reason about how to love people, that's nonsense. You can't teach anyone to love anyone.