Master Tells Jokes

There was a couple whose dog had died, so they buried it in the dog cemetery and then went home. Neither of them said anything. But after a while, the husband put his arm around the wife's shoulder and said: "I'm sorry darling. I know I haven't been very good to it -- the dog; but now that it has died, I feel kind of sorry. If you really feel very bad about it, I will consider getting another dog for you. But to be honest with you, I don't love dogs. If it hadn't been for my love for you, I wouldn't have had that dog for one second."

The wife turned around and looked at the husband: "What?! I thought it was your dog!"

When they moved in the new house, the dog moved in too, the day of their marriage. Both thought that the dog belonged to the other. So that was a lucky dog.

After a person died, he went to a beautiful place. The person at the gate looked at his ID card and then brought him to a very beautiful villa with lakes, flowers and everything surrounding it, a big garden, birds singing, dogs barking, ducks quacking. Everything was perfect.

After a while, someone else took him to another place so that he could have more enjoyment with delicacies like cakes, candies, blessed food, and all the beautiful international cooking for him to sample. After that, they took him out to maybe a night club, so that he could see the dancing or dance himself.

After a while, they took him to another place for just enjoyment -- listening to music, watching theater, and things like that. Many days went by and on and on like this -- always eating, sleeping, making merry, and nothing else.

So the man began to feel a little bit "itchy". He said, "Well, can you give me some work to do? I'd like to do something."

The attendant was very sad and said, "I am sorry. We have no work for you here. With this I cannot help you."

So the man said, "My God! If I have nothing to do, this could be like in hell."

So the attendant said, "Where do you think you are now?"

A person went into a restaurant. He ordered coffee and bread. When the waitress gave him the cup of coffee, he started to put in sugar and milk. Oh! There was no spoon to stir with! That person was in a hurry -- it was in the morning, he wanted to eat something quickly so that he could hurry to work. Seeing that the waitress was rather pretty, he felt a bit embarrassed to be straight forward. Therefore, he said very gently: "Oh Miss! This cup of coffee is very hot. If I stir it with my finger, wouldn't it be too hot?"

What he meant was that he wanted a spoon!

That lady was also very courteous. She smiled very sweetly and then went away without saying a word. She came out, wiggling her hips, and brought him another cup of coffee. Then, she said to him: "This cup of coffee won't be too hot!"

One day, a person went to open the door when the door bell rang loudly. He greeted a friend whom he had not seen for a long time. So, he invited him in. There was also a very big dog standing beside his friend. Oh! Very big and very dirty as it was a rainy day! The dog's four feet were full of mud. Since the dog was standing beside his friend, the man could not do anything! Besides, he had not seen this friend for a long time. So when he saw the dog follow his friend inside the house, he did not feel comfortable about saying anything. Actually, he himself did not like dogs, especially such a big, dirty dog.

After going into the house, the dog saw the man's beautiful bed and jumped onto it to have a nap. Oh! The man could not bear it! Really could not! But, there was nothing he could do. At the end, when he bid farewell to his friend, the dog was still lying there and did not want to go. Finally, he could not bear it and said: "Why don't you take your dog? It has already dirtied my bed, isn't that enough?"

But the friend said: "Ha? I thought it was yours!"